Why Things Are Stressful…

Aside from, you know, Dad dying and I can't fly out until tomorrow and the pretty much on the hour phone calls from Mom detailing Dad's decline that yes, I do understand her upset but I am trying to pack and get things organized and there's literally nothing I can do to get there faster.

So here's some OTHER stress points.

I've applied for FMLA. I had the forms sent to my mom Tuesday, the hospice people filled them out. I called this morning to the HR people to make sure they got the forms and if they needed something else. Sure enough, the forms were not filled out right but… wait for it…. they have to be resubmitted because the end date of the leave was filled out "undetermined" even though I had previously communicated that I would return on Sept 11. (Ironic, that.)

Can I just say "I'm planning on returning Sept 11"? Of course not. The forms have to be refaxed, which means my sister has to schlep to the UPS store because oddly enough, my retired, elderly parents don't own a fax machine. And remember, the return date is actually pretty noncommittal – technically I can take up to three months. But what irks is the "nope, redo it all" aspect.

Here's the kicker, which amps up my stress. I probably won't be *officially approved* to take FMLA time until Aug 29. Which means I am taking off from work, flying out and I could find out that I am facing a counseling or worse. Now, is there a BIG chance of that? No. But it is stressful.

Also, let's add this weird issue. If my dad dies while I am on the way or while I am there, on the one hand I get five days of bereavement leave. On the other? I can't have FMLA as a caregiver for my dad and would have to refile the paperwork for my mom over her heart condition. Because this is convenient and not awkward at all.

Sis has been very good with the credit card situation. Brother has not had access to the card because long story short, I just added sis so she had to borrow his to make the trip down and receive her card at mom's place. Still, he's managed to set up Kindle Unlimited on his card that is only for emergencies like… I dunno, Dad dying.

Have I mentioned that I am utterly certain I will be sleeping on the floor/an air bed for two to three weeks? Yes, petty, but I am packing Advil.

Now, I accept that some of my frustration is because this is how I cope with grief, I organize and try to keep things ordered and I will also admit that my concerns about cash/finances are wrapped up in my anxiety over Dad passing. So, I am trying to ignore the small automatic charge for now.  But it does grate that we JUST HAD the talk about if it's not an emergency to email or text me – I currently am still dealing with the cash advance finance charges from his last little whoopsie.

On the plus side, I posted an example query letter on a writing site for a critique


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